when i first sat down to write this, it was six days after the election. still, it's the the first thing that pops up on social media, the first headline read in the newspaper every morning. and every time, it's about the divided country, and the fact that election of president elect Trump has prompted so many racial outbursts and unkind words -- both said out loud and on social media, and now? it's been two months.
my mind keeps coming back to the theme of love. jesus taught us how to love our enemies, right? what happened to cherishing their opinion, not calling them out for it? our first instinct should be different from what we see. it should be love, peace, happiness, instead of hatred and violence. inside, we're all the same. with slight variation, different DNA codes, we are made of the same things. we each have a beating heart, functioning muscles and ligaments. inside, our blood all runs the same color. we are all human. we all make mistakes, too, but that doesn't give any excuse to tear somebody down or create barriers and divisions between people who have different opinions than you do. learn how to love, then teach your neighbors and friends how to love, and gradually, that love can take over.
0 Comments
it is 11:32 pm. twenty-one hours after the presidential candidate of the united states was declared. five hundred and twenty six days after it all began. it took all day to form a single sentence, a single thought about this election. as i thought about this race, a race that took life after life as the result of hate crimes, and hateful words spewed into the air, i wondered, i shook my head, and i knew the only thing left to do was pray.
last night i prayed. while the votes were being tallied i prayed that jesus would know the right thing to do for our country, for my future, the futures of my friends, parents, siblings, family members. i prayed that we would all be able to show love and peace towards the ones around us. three hours after the results were announced, i woke up. immediately, my stomach filled with fear, as i scrolled through social media feed after feed, and i knew that many people suddenly feared for their safety, their lives, their homes. words of fear spattered throughout the pages of the newspaper, telling of little african american girls, immigrant families. throughout the day, i heard messages of love, messages of peace... the same things i prayed for such a short time ago. my dear brothers and sisters, as i pray for peace and unity, i extend my invitation to you. to spread kindness, joy, love - not hatred, fear, guilt. it took me a solid three weeks to form this blog post, and it's been a while since i wrote a new one. so, hi, in case you've forgotten, my name is Sara Beth, and i'm a writer. this is my blog.
originally, this post was going to be about going back to highland retreat for the day. as i walked through highland property, i reflected on the experiences i had working as an sit there this summer. i was reminded that even the little things matter, like the conversations sitting around the campfire from worship, or walking to the bathhouse in the dark and seeing all the stars glimmering against the black sky, or throwing frogs onto the roof of the pool house. i was reminded of all the great experiences i had over the summer, and how much i wanted to go back. but, i just couldn't find the time to sit down and put my thoughts onto a blank page. to remind other people to not forget the little things. as i continued to think about what i would write, a series of events took place. although i won't go into detail, i was reminded of how importance waiting is. i am 100% sure i have written about this before, but sure, it doesn't hurt to have a reminder. i read my devotionals, and prayed, and the words that came to me from various places were "wait. jesus has a plan for you. be patient. have patience. learn patience." it is so important to wait for the right time, the right person. many times, we don't wait. my first relationship ended up a mess, and i was left in a bad place after that. we focus so much on being in the moment that we don't stop to think about what jesus wants for us, and to ask him if this is what he wants. if this is part of his plan. even though it may not seem like he's listening (and trust me, i've been there. i've done that), he has a person picked out for you to spend eternity with. you may have to fly to the other side of the world to get to them, but trust me, they're there. you just have to wait. usually, i don't pay much attention to the headlines on social media. but i read an article tonight that just made me mad.
two sports newscasters, and although i don't remember all the details and may not have them correct, were talking about the olympics and makeup, in relation to product advertisement. one of them, and maybe they were joking, said that olympians on the stand receiving their medals should wear makeup, because their zits need to be covered up, and their cheeks could use some color. in that moment, i realized how twisted society has become. to impress people, and to prevent judgement, we are pressured into caking product after product onto our faces. at first, it's enjoyable. yes, we all enjoy putting on makeup from time to time, but it should be for ourselves. not as a result of societal pressure. we all go through times of self-consciousness, and trust me, i've been there. i've experienced how that feels. we are all beautiful. each of us unique, but that makes us each more beautiful. so... dear society, we are all beautiful. please stop telling us that we're not pretty enough, that our hair is not shiny or straight enough, that our stretch marks aren't attractive, that our skin isn't clear enough, that the things that make up our identity are wrong. we see our flaws, we all have them. it's extremely hard for us to embrace who we are if all we hear are the negatives. please lift us up instead of tearing us down. we all know, deep down inside, that we are all beautiful. it just helps to hear it from somebody else from time to time. chances are, i've written a post along these lines before. and chances are, you've heard or read something along these lines too. but last night, i decided to start something new. last night, i decided to write a song, so last night, i flipped through each page of my bible, and wrote down every verse i had highlighted. i don't remember why i highlighted half of them, but one of them really stuck out to me.
"do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" - song of songs 3:5 it took a minute for this verse to set in, because so often we forget. we forget that our plans don't really matter... our love is determined by a greater power, a greater person. it doesn't seem real sometimes, and then he proves it to us all over again. waiting is really hard, especially when society is telling us to take the plunge, get the momentary satisfaction without waiting for something real, something worthwhile. waiting is probably the most difficult thing, especially for a thing that could happen at any time, but it's rewarding. it's so rewarding. while I reflected on my experiences at highland retreat (scroll down to see that post), the saying "He never gives us more than we can handle" made its way into my mind. i thought about that phrase for a good week before it made any sense. because, so often we think that the bad things that are happening can't get any worse. our day that is already the worst day in the world can't possibly get worse. but then it does. we learn things from that day and experiences that we never thought we could.
while i was at highland, i had a mild panic attack. i didn't think that i could handle what was happening around me, and i panicked. as i sat there, at the worst point in the two weeks, i thought it couldn't get any worse. and even though it didn't, i knew that there would be worse. maybe not that camp season, maybe not in the next year. in the bad experiences, you have to be able to see the good. the silver lining as people say. we're all human, so we will have bad days. and we will have days where we feel like we're floating on top of the world. but just remember the silver lining. the best (and the worst) are still yet to come. four months ago, I sat down at my computer to fulfill a thought that had been tugging at the back of my mind. I loved kids, music, and camp, so that night, I sent in an application to be a part of the staff-in-training program at highland retreat. even though two weeks seemed like eternity, and my heart pounded at the thought of going away for any longer than a week, I knew it would be an amazing experience for me and would help solidify plans for the future.
one month later, I was accepted into the staff-in-training program, and the process of paperwork and background checks ensued. my anxiety eased, even though the thought of leaving my bed and minimal bug environment still tugged at the back of my mind. two weeks ago, my bags were packed and loaded into the car for the biggest adventure of my life. highland quickly welcomed me with open arms, and I became part of the "family". the other sit members quickly became my closest friends during those two weeks, even extending to the point where we tolerated each other until three in the morning (more details to follow). we were quickly submerged into the leadership roles, where we volunteered our time in the kitchen, setting up worship services, and leading games and activities for the campers. sleep was quickly welcomed, as my friends and I stayed up way past our bedtime catching mice and frogs, and drying shoes after the rains that came through. however, those memories were some of my favorites, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. we learned new songs and new instruments, and practiced on ones learned in previous years. banjo and ukulele included. however, I knew the time was drawing to an end. ready to leave, though I was, I wasn't ready to leave behind the friends and the new experiences highland brought to me. so, highland, thank you for becoming my home for the past two weeks. though the bugs were plentiful, so were the memories and laughs. I hope to see you again next year. "my life flows on, in endless song" were the words I heard in a senior presentation last week. life flows, musical practices spring up, presentations and exam prep quickly take the lead, and writing falls into the category of things soon forgotten. however, I didn't stop exploring, learning, asking. and this is what I've learned:
1. my pastor compared adam and eve's temptation in the garden to earthly sin that we all face. it is centered in the middle of everything else, made to look better, more appealing. however, if we keep our face turned in the right direction, we will be led on. adam and eve were told not to eat the forbidden fruit, but sin took over. sin won. 2. anxiety is part of life. it's hard. it was the hardest thing I had to face - getting up in the morning with a constant knot in my stomach took a lot of effort. constantly worrying about what others were thinking about me quickly took over, my heart racing and stomach knotting even more. I learned to appreciate even more the friends I had surrounded myself with, and the ones who helped me more than they even knew. 3. going back to my entry. "my life flows on, in endless song." as exams moved to the forefront and I wanted to give up, I began to understand that not everything matters. the phrases that you learn in sunday school about god's plan and his will all suddenly made sense. your grades don't matter, your test scores don't exist in heaven. your plans have the ability to take a 360, but it doesn't matter. it's not your plan anyway. need a reminder? i did. while reading my devotional tonight, i came across a verse from 2 Corinthians that says "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2nd Corinthians 4:18. so often we focus on what we hold onto, sometimes with everything we have. our relationships with Jesus and others slip because we're so focused on trying to reach our goal. to do better. to reach the next milestone. to get one step higher. but if we're really trying to hold fast to the words we were given, none of that matters. none. not the grades you get, whether or not you get accepted into your dream college, whether or not you actually marry your prince charming and live happily ever after.
the truth is, Jesus doesn't care about that. when you get to heaven, he won't be standing there with a clipboard, marking off all of your accomplishments. why? because that's not the god he is. he cares more about whether or not you lived your life as a christian, showing his light to the people that you meet. he cares more about what you said to your friends and family than what grade you got in sophomore year geometry. your social life and accomplishments don't matter in the end. how you shed your light as a christian? that's all it adds up to. --be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle--
while these words are so true, we don't stop to think about how much of an impact they actually have. so many times, the words we say impact other people in more ways than we know. my guidance counselor today came up and asked me about an issue that has been troubling me for the past year, without any word from myself, and it made my day so much better. all because of a simple question that ended up in a resolution. be kind, for you don't know the impact your words have. time passes on, physical wounds may heal, but emotional ones do not. I still remember the harsh words of the elementary and middle school bullies who picked on the quiet kids. it took me a long time to get over that. relationships that end badly. those are the words that make the most of an impact. in a split second, the person you feel is the most important to you can do something that will change the way you look at things -- or at them. so, be kind. be smart. be generous. be christian-mannered. for Jesus taught us, love your neighbor as yourself. |
Archives
April 2018
|